Quote

The left side of an apple pie is the part that isn't eaten.

A rancher couldn't keep his hands off his beautiful wife and finally had to fire every one of them.

Funny thing about the way a horse eats - he eats best when he hasn't a bit in his mouth.

A violinist, when asked if it was difficult to string a violin replied, "It takes guts."

Definitions

Alaska - A prelude to "No"

Buccaneer - Current price of corn

Flattery - An apartment house

Incongruous - Where the laws are made

Simply Funny:

How to Install the Home Security System

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
3. Put a giant dog dish next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads, "Hey Bubba - Big Mike and I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. Better wait outside. They atacked the mailman this morning and messed him up pretty bad. I locked all four of them in the house.


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